Battleship

[ayascythe]

The movie starts out with a short intro of how humanity found a new planet with similar conditions like on Earth and tried to contact whatever might be out there living on that planet. Don't pay any attention to this, it will be our feeble excuse for a plot-hook later on.

On to the important bits: we see Alex Hopper celebrate his 26th birthday together with his big brother Eric Northman. Because I forgot Big Brother's name, I'll call him Eric for the rest of this review. Eric's apparently very protective of his little bro and tries to talk some sense into him - futilely so. A hot chic enters the bar and asks for a chicken burrito, but kitchen's already closed. Cue Alex Hopper, trying to impress the girl and promising her to get her a chicken burrito in five minutes. What follows can only be described as the infamous chicken burrito scene. To those who haven't seen the preview teaser: it ends in disaster. Eric is rightfully pissed and decides that Alex needs to learn some discipline, which means he will toally join the Navy now!

A couple of months/years(?) later: Alex is now in the Navy, has apparently convinced burrito girl to become his girlfriend and - I kid you not - there's a football match between the American and Japanese Navy teams. OF COURSE, Eric and Alex are in the same team and they are very, very brotherly and Aleksander Skarsgard is the goalkeeper. I repeat: Aleksander Skarsgard is the goalkeeper. A MILITARY/FOOTBALL/TRUE BLOOD CROSSOVER AU WITH BROTHERS - IT'S LIKE EVERY WET FANDOM DREAM COME TRUE. And he's being very brotherly and overly protective of his little brother, who gets fouled pretty badly by a Japanese player called Nagata. Alex and Nagata dislike each other after that, but still. Remember that name, he'll become relevant later on.

Alex screws up pretty badly after that and gets told he'll have to leave the Navy, but before that, he'll have that one last operation.

Enter the Decepticons aliens. Lots of explosions, baaaaaad baaaaad aliens, omg what is happening, what should we do, yadda yadda, you know the deal. 45 minutes in to the movie, Eric's ship gets blown to smithereens. There's a short moment where we see Eric looking helplessy into the direction of his brother out on the sea and then everything goes boom.

Alex: *sadface*
Me: DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD: YOU KILLED MY SHIP, YOU BASTARDS.

But fear not! The brotherly love gets a lovely replacement in form of Captain Nagata, who gets picked up out of the sea by Alex' ship after his own ship got blown up. Alex, being the highest ranking officer on board, gets the job of the captain and is clearly overwhelmed by it. Then there's Nagata, who impresses him with the knowledge that you can locate the enemy ships without radar, using nautical information. Alex: My ship is yours, captain. And I am, too.

After that, it's mostly loads and loads of explosions in Transformers style and admittedly pretty damn great special effects. They find out some strategies to fight the aliens (PLAYING BATTLESHIP, I'M JUST SAYING), Alex and Nagata develop a (b)romance so epic that even they team mates will ship them at the end of the movie ("You're such a lovely couple!") and an awesome scene in which they take out a superold battleship out to fight the aliens, with help of some Navy veterans. And there was one scene that reminded me suspiciously of Titanic. (You know, Jack and Rose on the top of the sinkin ship? Yes, that one.)

All in all, the movie was a shit-load of fun, especially if you like one of the following things:
- brothers
- football playing brothers
- Eric Northman as a goalkeeper
- fancy special effects and cool armours
- Liam Neeson being badass as usual
- lots of explosions
- senseless, but incredibly entertaining action
- Transformers
- the blooming romance between an American and a Japanese Navy officer.


Now, where's that Monopoly movie?

Comments

[hanseatic-keks.livejournal.com]

- fancy special effects and cool armours
- lots of explosions
- senseless, but incredibly entertaining action

I feel like a guy, but these reasons totally convinced me that I HAVE to watch this.

also, ASKARS!

[ayascythe.livejournal.com]

No, that was totally why I watched it, too. And weren't you the one who had a fancy for military uniforms? Because there are lots of them. Combat uniforms, dress uniforms, very pretty. ;)

(And Aleksander Skarsgard is always a reason!!!)

[hanseatic-keks.livejournal.com]

And weren't you the one who had a fancy for military uniforms?

Yes, that's me :D

ASkars in a uniform is more than a reason, it's a must :D

[ninamalfoy]

Ich seh zur Zeit überall die Poster für den Film, aber die Chancen, daß ich den gucke, sind eher niedrig. Auch trotz A MILITARY/FOOTBALL/TRUE BLOOD CROSSOVER AU WITH BROTHERS - IT'S LIKE EVERY WET FANDOM DREAM COME TRUE. - ich warte da lieber auf die slashfic. *snerks* Und vielleicht tu ich mir den dann doch viel später per DVD an. Oder so. Natürlich nur wegen Alex. ;-)

[ayascythe.livejournal.com]

Hehe, das kann ich schon verstehen. Battleship ist schon sehr unterhaltsam, aber definitiv nicht das Kinoereignis des Jahres. Leicht verdauliches Popcorn-Kino eben. Auf DVD geht aber schon. ;)

(Nach Fic hab ich auch schon gesucht, aber noch keine gefunden. *schmoll*)

[ninamalfoy]

(Hm, die hätten den Slash-Quotient mehr nach oben treiben können wenn Eric und, äh, sein Bruder nicht verwandt, sondern BFF gewesen wären (à la Pearl Harbor, Ben-Affleck-und-Josh-Hartnett-mäßig), und dieser Japaner kommt da dazwischen und aus der Twu Wuv zwischen Eric und seinem BFF-(Bruder) wird eine Menage à trois, mit tüchtig Eifersüchteleien und sehnsuchtsvollem Auf-den-Arsch-Glotzen und rumprollen mit Muckis und so. Wer am Ende gewinnt, ist egal - vielleicht wird's ja auch ne happy Menage à trois. ;-)

Öhm. Ja. Also, das wäre schon ungleich slashiger. *grinst*)

[ayascythe.livejournal.com]

Hnngngng, das wäre natürlich auch eine schöne Möglichkeit, den Film noch etwas aufzupeppen! :D Aber soweit haben die Macher dann wohl auch nicht gedacht (leider). Mal sehen, vielleicht taucht ja doch noch irgendwo Fic dazu auf ...